an ordinary day

Yesterday I had a migraine.
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Thankfully, it was dark-wool-grey and pouring buckets of rain.  Not much sunlight peeking through cracks beside the curtain to pierce my brain, stab my head pain.  I took an Imatrex, a pill I’m so glad exists.  It levels me to a worst-headache-ever status instead of a carry-me-to-the-nearest-hospital pain.  I wanted to lay beneath quilts with an ice pack on my forehead, but I read board books to my littlest love while big sisters were at school, then drove the minivan to the stamp store, the diaper wipe store, the dry cleaning store — all while Lucy proudly announced each arrival with fanfare fit for a circus announcer.  Home, I took another Imatrex, made lunch with my eyes closed and slept for three hours with my three babes.
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Yup.  Not a whole lot accomplished.  My head didn’t explode, [like I thought it might] so I can call it a good day.  Yesterday reminded me of a poem from our wedding, a poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer –
The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
 
© 1995 by Oriah House, From “Dreams Of Desire”
Published by Mountain Dreaming, 300 Coxwell Avenue, Box 22546, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4L 2A

I can do what needs to be done to feed the children.
I should say, yesterday I gave myself a migraine.  It’s my own fault.  I had a food allergy test last month and it turns out I’m allergic to yeast and asparagus.  Yup.  This bread baker can’t eat yeast.  Who cares about asparagus, a veggie we ate weekly but without a true love affair.  In my eating trials, yeast gives me migraines and makes grass allergies worse.  I ate so much good bread Sunday.  Of course my head felt like it might explode.  In so many ways, I can’t wrap my head around my yeast allergy.
:::
I wanted to have a potluck when our addition was done, garage and master bedroom completed.  I wanted to celebrate our garage as a welding studio, wood shop, and automotive zone.  I wanted to have a party when our yard was entirely fenced in, landscaped and perfect.  I wanted friends to hang in our yard in strong spring sunshine, kids to giggle and romp on our playground.  Turns out, giggling is what’s important and all else can pause until we get there.

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Lucy and a preschool bff happily chalked each other on vacant floors.
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We had pals step over our construction mess, muck through the muddy weeds, layer in fleece and rain gear and watch the kids have a total blast in the pouring rain.  
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Sure, a sink, a claw foot tub and piles of lumber scattered our soggy yard, but we focused on our  full fajita tummies while we watched our babes splash and bounce on our puddley trampoline.  
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be with friends.

:::
I had the pleasure of working with my friend, an amazing photographer as her assistant at an island wedding on Saturday.  It was hard work, but I felt honored to learn from such a camera star.  I had never met the bride before, and there was something amazing meeting someone [and their entire circle of close friends and family] on the most important day of their life.  It was magical, stressful, busy;  it was all of it.  I cried at the look on her dad’s face, at the first dance, at the love surrounding them.
:::
We had our tiny cousin Wyatt and his sweet family stay the night.  They played chase, looked at books and even fed each other Cheerios.  Cute.
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Same squeal, same sideways smile while nearly the same age.  35 days apart, exactly.  Sometimes I wish our whole family lived on the same street.  Sigh.
:::
[& to play catch-up]
Just mailed my last Christmas card.  No, really.
I keep this one to-do list of things I should do when I’ve got a minute like hang a picture or check voice mail.  Did the latter, and deleted so many messages from March.  I figure people will find me if they really need me (or text, or call home).
:::
I still didn’t write about Easter.
So much fun in Roche Harbor’s garden, hunting eggs in morning’s after-rain.

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Olive was smitten with her new shiny pail.
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Lucy was drawn to the competitive aspects of the egg hunt:  egg’s plethora and golden’s prize.  [Who ever finds the golden and silver egg gets a huge stuffed bunny and a basket full of chocolate].
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It took her a while to get over not finding the golden egg.

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Roche Harbor hid over 1,700 eggs.  They’re all hand-dyed the day before by island volunteers on a barge at dock’s end.  Sometime, we’ll take part in the dye experience.  For now, we’ll stick to egg salad, deviled and Scottish eggs for a week.
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Easter was the morning after [THIS] party.  We got home at 2:40 AM after a long, long dancing masquerade ball and an even longer walk home in five inch heels.  Such a fun night, but such an early morning where the kids were bubbling with excitement.  After this picture was taken, we boogied over to the dock-front resturant and ordered chili cheese fries, more coffee and lots of water. Perfect.
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:::
I still didn’t write about the island’s Circus Children’s Festival.
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Free.  Kids everywhere.  So many local business-sponsored booths, like the Sailing Foundation’s Land Dinghy.
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Familiar faces, face painting, painting on fingers.
And our favorite, the ladybug’s unlikely visit.

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First on shoulder.
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Then to fine hair’s ladder.
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I loved how this paused her, so still and appreciatively quiet for this brief visit.
:::
I still didn’t write about Mother’s Day.
Slept in, fancy breakfast made by my loves and my man.  Ran with the pooch.  

Luke worked in the garden with our three ladies, while I had a solo kitchen dance party and made sushi with Spot Prawns he’d caught the afternoon before.
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Potluck at a friend’s farm.  Sunshine, kids laughing.  Dad’s doing dishes, diaper’s doodie duty.
Kinda wish each day was Mama’s Day.

PhotobucketEvery potluck needs a pinata.
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Just as every potluck needs a game at bat.

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:::
So much is in season right now.  Copper River Salmon is filling Northwest tummies, while Ling Cod and Spot Prawn are luring my man to the waters when tide allows.

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Love the man that catches this for his ladies.
:::
What seasonal yumminess is on your table?

9 Comments

  • Love this post, Jenn. It is so full and the photos, oh the photos!

    Sorry you had such a bad headache. xo

  • so sorry to hear about that migraine but that three hour nap with your babes sounds so good.

    seasonally on the table right now: strawberries, chard, tomatoes. it is crawfish season but they're soooo expensive this year due to the cold, dry winter we had. and i think this weekend i'll have to indulge in an oyster poboy while i can – once that freshwater from the mississippi hits the oyster beds, those crops will be wiped out. sad.

  • It is pretty crazy sometimes how in sickness and in health, after a long night out, or sleepless night, no matter the circumstance, mamas duties continue.

    ISN'T every day mamas day??? When you get a great cuddle, or even hear one of those fantastic giggles you spoke of – it is. 🙂

    Wish I could appreciate the rain the way a child does!
    What an awesome and beautiful poem – thanks for sharing. Great post & SUCH great photos!

  • Kim says:

    Oh my. That poem was beautiful, so very beautiful. I wish I had known it before my own wedding, it would have made perfect vows. Well, I will hold onto it for my 10 year anniversary, which is only 3 years away!

    You have a beautiful family! Your girls are gorgeous. We have 2 and I love seeing families with 3, because it gives me a glimpse into what ours could be.

  • Melina says:

    I get migraines, too. I'm in the midst of a week long migraine spree right now. I cannot imagine taking care of three kids- well, one I can imagine, since I'm a nanny and I'm at work right now. He had a screaming fit today and I just thought, this could be it, this could make my head explode.
    Somehow it didn't. So, like you said,I consider this a good day.

    xox
    Melina

  • Anne says:

    I love hearing how much you love your beautiful life! It reminds me to love my own beautiful life, migraines and all! and the poem… Ahhhmazing!

  • Am also sorry for your migraine – yuk! Glad we live at a time when you can take that tablet. Thank God! I love that poem so much. Thanks for posting it. Take care in the wake of your poor head. Have a beautiful weekend. Katie x

  • Gnat says:

    Lots of great things here!! Hope you are feeling better but thanks for all the great pictures and stories!!

  • Zane Wooder says:

    The light from the sun can actually help you with your migraine. Have you tried bag breathing or eating a healthy snack? That will help too. Food allergy testing can be helpful but fixing your digestion will solve a lot of these sensitivities.

    -Zane of ontario honey

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